


Am I Overthinking?

by 68bears



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Genderfluid Character, Hurt/Comfort, Other, dont worry its got a positive ending, lots of kisses, tomoe love her partner so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 12:39:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19107280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/68bears/pseuds/68bears
Summary: Kaoru's mental health isn't doing so hot today and is overthinking every little thing.





	Am I Overthinking?

If there was something Kaoru would stress out about, it would be the fact that when Tomoe doesn’t have band practice, she waits around school until Theatre Club is over so she could walk Kaoru home.

Kaoru is usually the one to do that for others, the other way around feels too much like a burden. They’re not worth waiting for. Isn’t she sick and tired of doing nothing around the halls for an hour and a half? Sometimes even longer if Kaoru wants to improve their part.

Tomoe just plasters on that cute smile of hers and greets her with her regular “yo,” like normal. Isn’t she sick of them yet? Isn’t Kaoru a burden on her? Why is she still here.

Kaoru tries their best to put on her persona, “Ah, my Princess,” They hold Tomoe’s hand and take a bow to half greet her hand with a chaste kiss “Come to bestow your beauty upon thine castle yet again?”

“Haha, yeah, sure, dude.” Tomoe doesn’t fully understand what Kaoru just said but she liked the way they said it.

Tomoe seems a bit… different? Koaru can’t quite put their finger on it but Tomoe looks like she wants to say something.

\---

The entire time after that, from the club room, to the lockers, to now, walking past the gates and one their way home, has been… incredibly quiet. The sky has become a golden hazy orange, not helping Kaoru’s unease. Maybe today just isn’t their day mentally, but they can’t help but feel a rock in their stomach. Is Tomoe annoyed with them? Of course she is...  
Stupid annoying idiot Kaoru. They waited too long for them because they wanted to focus more on themself instead of thinking about how Tomoe would feel, and now they can’t even think of anything to say on their walk home because their anxiety is taking up all the space in their brain.

Kaoru didn’t notice it themself, but they started to breathe a little heavier through their nose. However, Tomoe definitely noticed, gently bumped their shoulders together, bringing Kaoru out of their trance

“Hey,” Tomoe greets, in that soft tone she uses, so she’s not too loud “Sometimes it’s nice not needing to talk, yknow,” Tomoe gives a that goofy, warm smile of hers that always bring them to smile too.  
“I love you enough to not need to say any words to be with you”

Oh gosh, that’s it.  
The flood gates are coming. Kaoru can feel the sting behind their eyes.  
Don’t cry now, don’t ruin this moment. Swallow it, cry when you’re alone in your room.

Take deep breaths. Six seconds in, six seconds out.  
Looking over with their eyes only, Tomoe seems focused forward again. They glance their eyes downwards. Target locked.

Kaoru tries to slow the beating of their heart. C’mon, it’s only holding hands, The two of them do this all the time! they even did it not too long ago in the club room! Kaoru’s hand opens and closes in preparation, hoping it doesn’t become clammy.

Kaoru decides it’ll be easier to close the gap first, trying not be too close they bump shoulders. All they have to do now is just lift their hand slightly to grab hold of Tomoe’s hand.

Kind of… Kaoru was only able to just hold her fingers with theirs own coarse finger tips. They did their best. Tomoe retracts for a split second, leaving Kaoru feeling incredibly dejected. 

I was right, she doesn’t want to hold my hand, she doesn’t love me, everything is a lie.

Kaoru’s thoughts were interrupted as a strong squeeze took over their entire hand. Tomoe only let go for a split second to properly hold her hand and show them all her feelings. Kaoru feels like they might actually end up crying this time. A slight pink dusted their cheeks and a wobbly smile formed trying their best to hold in the tears that stung behind their crimson eyes.

\---

Before they came to realise, they ended up at Kaoru’s house. Tomoe’s going to walk home alone? They can’t help but feel like a burden again.

Kaoru is led to the front door and before they could do or say anything, Tomoe gently places her hands on their waist and pulls them in front of her.

“Hey,” she says even softer than earlier, her face so close to Kaoru’s, they can feel her breath as she speaks, “Know I’m always here for you, yeah?”

Kaoru lets out a confused hum.

“You just seemed really out of it this afternoon and I want to let you know you can talk to me about it. I won’t go anywhere.”

The title for Prince of Haneoka is and will always be Kaoru’s. However, today, in this moment, Tomoe was Kaoru’s prince. They pressed their head down against Tomoe’s shoulder, and tucked their arms between both their chests. Tomoe brings her arms up from their waist to their back and gives a little squeeze, hoping to give her feelings across that she really does mean she’s here for them.  
She won’t let go. In this moment, Kaoru suddenly feel incredibly vulnerable yet safe at the same time.

As the sun sets further, a gentle breeze picks up. Kaoru reluctantly pulls their face up from Tomoe’s shoulder and sniffs, too afraid to open their eyes. Tomoe chuckles endearingly, gently brings her right hand up to hold their cheek and gently wipe the dampness from their eyes.

Bringing her other hand up to the other cheek, Tomoe stands on her tip toes to give Kaoru a gentle kiss on their forehead. While their tender cheeks are being gently caressed, Kaoru makes sure they’re looking down at their feet when they open their eyes, slowly making their way up greet Tomoe’s goofy smile again. Gosh, she’s so cute, she makes Kaoru smile again, slightly. 

They leaned forward and down slightly to meet Tomoe’s slightly chapped lips with their own thin ones. This might just be because they’re really gay but Kaoru could taste a certain sweetness in their kiss. Did Tomoe eat candy or is Kaoru just hopelessly in love with this incredibly sweet drummer with a generously big heart.

After a few seconds of the initial kiss, Tomoe began to pepper kisses on Kaoru, first just on their lips, but ended up spreading around on their cheeks and nose, making Kaoru laugh with her whole heart.

“T-Tomoe-chan, stop it already~,” Kaoru managed to chuckle out, only half serious.

Tomoe gives them one last kiss on the lips, “I can’t help it, you deserves all the love I can possibly give you”

**Author's Note:**

> alternative title: Kaoru's Gay Anxiety
> 
> s/o to @DValkyrie for proof reading for me this time, she is a star and yall should check out her fics \o/
> 
> damn 2 tomokao fics in 2 days ? honestly i just rly wanted to tap into "what if kaoru couldnt keep up with her persona" but ofc kaoru probably feels comfortable not using their persona around their girlfriend  
> also possible projecting myself onto kaoru but im just autistic ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 
> 
> also i rly wanted to switch pronouns for kaoru but i felt like that would be super confusing for yall to read? Like i might only do that when someones talking like they'll refer to kaoru as "they" and "he" in one sentence or smth  
> idk, lemme kno what yall think
> 
> also criticism still welcome, i tried my hand at being more descriptive this time but my brain farded a lot tryin to come up with stuff, let me know how i could improve  
> also fuck i wanted to end it, like, tomoe asking if she could sleep over just to be with kaoru while theyre low but i didnt know how to get there so i just. stopped typing. thats it. thats the creative process lads [finger guns]


End file.
